If I died tomorrow, though limited in time, I would have lived a life full of amazing experiences of love and loss, success and failure, transparency and mystery, pain and glory, trauma and triumph, beautiful chaos, perplexing secrets, dramatic climaxes, abundant sexual climaxes, a few good men, wholehearted affairs of the heart and head; all written on tattered, dogeared pages of the most spell-BOUND book.
I have been wife and mistress.
Girlfriend and side-chick.
Ex-wife and ex-girlfriend.
Best-friend and worst enemy.
Monogamous and polyamorous.
I have been omnipresent and invisible.
Paths I chose.
For the times I chose.
Fully aware, fully in control, truthfully decisive, of the life I wanted to live.
In the moment I chose to live it.
Listen to Jay read this essay on her hit Caribbean Podcast: IN MY HEAD!!!
I have made strong men weak and grown men cry. I’ve also given life to many – loving them deeper than they’ve ever experienced. Listening without judgement to their deepest pains, vulnerabilities and humanness. Nurturing their hearts, feeding their souls and being midwife to their dreams.
I’ve been mortified by experiences. Had my heart obliterated a few times, only because I’m an “all in” kind of woman.
Passionate Libra woman.
Deeply loving (the ones blessed to be chosen) kind of woman.
Private life is the best life kind of woman.
“I don’t owe anyone an explanation,” kind of woman.
“I do what I want,” kind of woman.
Always telling the truth – even if it hurts – kind of woman.
Show up when you need me kind of woman.
Never one to lie or bluff. I don’t disappoint, even in my wrath, the theatrics are black Oscar-worthy, straight out of Waiting To Exhale.
I’ve lived my best life and yet wanted to take my own life. I’ve been physically beaten and gently swaddled. I have lived a life that I never asked for, yet chose to make the best out of.
“Blessed to love, cursed to feel.”
Jay Blessed Launches New Caribbean Podcast – “IN MY HEAD”
Presently in the process of healing from what seems like abysmal pain.
Presently learning to love myself as deeply and as passionately and as forgivingly as I have loved others.
Presently evolving from my past, lest I repeat toxic behavioral patterns.
Presently dealing with karmic laws and even paying some restitution.
Presently being kind to myself, for I have survived – IN MY RIGHT MIND – what most people could never live.
Presently breathing.
God has already judged me.
I, however, have proven to be a harsher, and even more unforgiving, judge of self.
If I had to be honest, I’ve had some regrets, but the optimist in me sees it all as part of this beautiful story of my life, still being told. Still unfolding. The mystery of it all. The complexities and intricacies of the unfathomable life of Jamie.
Jamie…a name they would always remember.
A woman they could never forget!
“Oh, that Jamie!”
“She really did me good.”
But in retrospect, NAH!!!!! I wouldn’t change a thing.
Well-behaved women seldom make history any way!
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